Energy or Lack Thereof

Mondays. Ugh. Nothing can make a Monday seem exciting. Not until this summer at least when I will have Monday's off! But seriously, ugh!

To tell the truth, Tuesday is actually worse than Monday to me. You drag yourself out of bed on Monday morning after a too short weekend and you rev yourself up to get through the day. You make it through with a smile on your face get home and just want to crash. Only to realize tomorrow is only Tuesday. At least Wednesday you're halfway done and Thursday and Friday are a breeze to the weekend. Also, the thought of having to work this weekend at the hospital doesn't make my outlook any better.

I usually don't have all that much energy on Monday but this Monday is even worse as we had a busy weekend with two late nights in a row. Not something this 31 year old can handle as well anymore!  It was one of those mornings where you check each child's head for a fever thinking it's the only hope I have of getting to stay home today! When everyone wakes up perfectly healthy, I'm a little disappointed. Oh, well, get through the day.

This Monday was also the most disorganized I have every felt. For two weeks I was telling myself that Oliver had a doctor appointment on Tuesday and when I opened my planner at work this morning there it was. Marked in high lighter. Today was his appointment. Shit.

Luckily I was in the nursing home this morning and was able to re-arrange my schedule a little more easily than if I had been at the clinic. The downfall was that I would have to go back to the nursing home over my lunch hour. Ugh. But I then realized I could count both on my mileage! Gotta have that "yin-yang" to boost my spirits!

It all ended up working out but man, did it drain my energy! I knew that it wasn't going to be a night that I could get to bed early either. I was invited to a friend's jewelry show which I felt obligated to go to since it was her last one. Volleyball league is tonight, too. Sometimes it amazes me how I can get through a crazy day on low energy but I do it! I remember when we first had Oliver and he wasn't sleeping well through the night. Before having kids if I didn't sleep very well I would just call into work. But when you have kids, most nights aren't good sleeping nights! But you can't call in sick every time that happens. It's amazing how we can get through a day after a rough night. Probably not very pretty but dang it, I have to do it!

Then I look at my kids. If I had half their energy, I would be raring to go all day everyday. It just amazes me how crazy they can get! What I really don't like about the lack of energy is how I respond to their overwhelming energy. I get irritated. I get angry. Although I feel like I've gotten better at thinking before I start yelling. Today has been a good day with that. I've been able to control my responses better.  Even at Oliver's doctor appointment he started crying and whining that he didn't want to go and I was able to talk to him and calm him down rather than man-handle and yell which was a nice change. I'm not at all surprised anymore when he does respond that way to something he doesn't want to do. Once we got there he actually did do really well and went through his exam like a champ! I was a little more worried when I saw them bring in a gown for him. The last time I asked him to change into a gown for the doctor it was not good. Lots of crying, lots of yelling. It was awful. But he put it on like a champ and was good to go!

This week is going to be a draining week just in that itself since he goes in for dental surgery on Thursday. The emotions I've been having with him going under anesthesia for the first time has been having an affect on my energy. Not to mention this time of the month (no, not my period) is always my most stressful because it's two weeks until payday and already we need to find extra cash. It's not as bad as it has been in the past but there's still a whole week left. I hate this feeling. There's always something.

I have to remind myself that it's only as bad as I make it. It's easy to focus on the negative but usually you can find the positive not far behind it. Focus on that and it won't seem so bad.

Dear God, Help me find the energy to get through the stresses of everyday life and to remember my blessings over my burdens. Help me to trust in you and give my worries to you. Amen.