"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
In a world that is constantly changing, knowing that Jesus's presence will always remain can be a rock. To know that I always have Him to go to, to talk to, makes me think of how truly gracious He is. I have been wondering about which church denomination would best tie my beliefs with Jesus' teachings, which church keeps Jesus' teachings without being worried about what society will think of them. I'm still at a loss!
I feel like some pastors might have the same views as I do, but the church as a whole is mixed, making it hard to get a good read on the groups belief system. Some are more liberal. Some are on a "pick and choose" basis. Some are not restricted in any way from beliefs to dress code. I just don't see how you can maintain a solid group if not all in the group believe the same thing.
Now there are things that I believe that might not fit into some churches. When looking at the Catholic church, I think there is a different between prevention and termination when it comes to the family. I don't think I would be accepted there very well with that state of mind. In the ELCA Lutheran church, they are getting to be too liberal for my liking. E-free is just out in the open. It's great to be accepting and all, but I feel like the lack of structure, of a solid group thought, makes the church more vulnerable to societal rules.
There are days when I wonder, "Do we really need all the rules?", and there are other days where I think, "Why don't you follow these rules?". For some reason I feel really torn with this decision and yet my husband is so nonchalant about it. He doesn't see why I make such a big deal of things and some days, I don't know either. I just really do not like it when I see churches conforming to what society decides is "normal". I don't think the churches should be bending their beliefs just because society thinks they are being too harsh. Christianity is harsh. From the moment it began, it has been nothing but harsh.
The fact that Jesus is the same now as he has always been, why are churches changing so much? I feel like there is a piece, or many pieces, missing when denominations pick and choose what practices they will be doing and how they will be doing them. In all honesty, the Catholic church should be praised and acknowledged on how they have not turned to society for evolving but how they have kept the same practices and beliefs since the beginning. In most cases. The whole allowing an annulment still puzzles me.
The more I think about my search for a new church, the more I do think of the Catholic church as being the better option. My husband and I have talked about it but just don't know if we want to jump into that quite yet. As most know, the Catholic church is not one you can just try out for a few weeks and see how you like it. It's one that you need to do your research on and be fully committed, otherwise you just don't get the whole experience. Let the search continue....
Dear God, Again, thank you for giving me free will to test my beliefs and to think for myself on what it means to be a follower of Christ. Help guide me to Your home and be free to talk about it with others, especially my family. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, September 12, 2016
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Change of A Church
I have been struggling with which Christian denomination is best for our family. My husband and I were both raised ELCA Lutheran but when we moved to Holdrege, we decided to go to an Evangelical Free church because a lot of people we had met guided us there. When we first started going to Trinity, we both really liked it. The pastor was great, the people were inviting but there were little things, really big things to me, that I just didn't agree with.
For example, they do not baptize infants but instead let the individual decide when they feel they have acknowledged Jesus Christ as their savior. They can be ten years old or sixty years old, doesn't matter. It also does not matter to them if they already had been baptized in the past. A friend of mine had a good thought about this practice. He felt like people were using baptism as an external statement about what should be an internal experience of the Holy Spirit coming into you. Which is true. I feel like people use baptism as a "conversation" piece. Of a way to look for the acceptance of others when that's not what it should be. I view confirmation as being that point when you make the conscious decision to follow Christ, which is something Trinity does not do.
Trinity also sees Holy Commuion as a parental decision. When the parent feels the child should receive communion, that's when they can take it. I personally do not agree with that. I understand there is a lot of parental involvement that comes with raising a child to follow Christ but there are some things that I feel someone more "holier" than I needs to bring to light. I also feel that being with peers helps in their understanding of what Holy Communion really stands for.
I am not trying to go on a rant of how Trinity or other E-Free churches perform their services. I am trying to sort out what I expect to gain out of my spiritual life and what I want my children to experience. I do believe that God lead us to Trinity initially because He knew it would force me to question my beliefs and to see what key elements of the church are important that I may have taken for granted as a teenager or young adult. I do enjoy pastor's messages but I feel like I need more and I am just not getting that at Trinity.
Dear God, Thank you for guiding me to question what it means to be a Christian in Your eyes. What it means to really accept Christ and follow his teachings. Help our family to find the church that best represents You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
For example, they do not baptize infants but instead let the individual decide when they feel they have acknowledged Jesus Christ as their savior. They can be ten years old or sixty years old, doesn't matter. It also does not matter to them if they already had been baptized in the past. A friend of mine had a good thought about this practice. He felt like people were using baptism as an external statement about what should be an internal experience of the Holy Spirit coming into you. Which is true. I feel like people use baptism as a "conversation" piece. Of a way to look for the acceptance of others when that's not what it should be. I view confirmation as being that point when you make the conscious decision to follow Christ, which is something Trinity does not do.
Trinity also sees Holy Commuion as a parental decision. When the parent feels the child should receive communion, that's when they can take it. I personally do not agree with that. I understand there is a lot of parental involvement that comes with raising a child to follow Christ but there are some things that I feel someone more "holier" than I needs to bring to light. I also feel that being with peers helps in their understanding of what Holy Communion really stands for.
I am not trying to go on a rant of how Trinity or other E-Free churches perform their services. I am trying to sort out what I expect to gain out of my spiritual life and what I want my children to experience. I do believe that God lead us to Trinity initially because He knew it would force me to question my beliefs and to see what key elements of the church are important that I may have taken for granted as a teenager or young adult. I do enjoy pastor's messages but I feel like I need more and I am just not getting that at Trinity.
Dear God, Thank you for guiding me to question what it means to be a Christian in Your eyes. What it means to really accept Christ and follow his teachings. Help our family to find the church that best represents You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
The Blues vs Depression
Some days I feel worthless. Other days, I feel like I have it all figured out. So when is it just a normal "case of the blues" and when do we utter the forbidden "D-word"?
I feel like I have been fighting the same struggles for years with no victory won over any. There are days where I can ignore the struggles better but they are still there, begging me to turn my attention to them. It brings me down, forces me to turn away from the things I enjoy instead to try and get a handle on the things that cause me so much worry. The worst thing is in the end, at that particular moment, there isn't a whole lot I can do which increases the worry.
I feel like at times I fail greatly as a mother. After Nora was born, I thought at one point I had post-partum depression then would cast that thought aside because I had no ill-feelings toward our new-born baby. But then I read an article this week that makes me think otherwise and think that I may still be in that stage. Post-partum can also show itself as a feeling of parental failure. Check!
Our older children are in a stage where nothing I suggest or do with them seems to satisfy their needs. Somethings are too boring or others are too hard that they attempt once, fail, and never want to try again making me feel like I don't know what to do with them. They want me to play with them but I find that they actually behave much better if I stay out of the way and let them play on their own. There seems to be less arguing, less consoling. Which really makes me feel great as a mom seeing that they might very well be better off without me. Note the sarcasm.
I understand this is a harsh statement to give to myself. I should see this as a great thing that they don't need me to be hovering over them just to get them to play together. Instead it is seen as a failure that my children don't enjoy my company. I need to realize that there are times I they don't need me and times they do. Story time is a favorite that I know they will turn to me more often than not because they can't read yet. But what happens when they do read? I hope that there will be something else they will come to me for. So instead of getting down about it, why can't I enjoy the time I have now? The constant worry of the unknown and the thought of them growing up scares me when it should bring joy to know that they are functioning children.
I believe it's the selfishness. Feeling that I need to have more involvement. That they don't want ME. That I am failing as a mom when there really is no sign of that. I need to get over it. I am here to guide them, not to hover over them. I am here to help them, not to force them. It's a never ending balance that I really just need to let go of if I hope to get over the guilt and anxiety that comes with raising kids these days. As far as we can tell and others can see, our children are happy children. Yes, they throw tantrums and can be less than helpful but overall, they really are good, kind kids. I need to open my eyes to that.
Dear God, thank you for being there as a rock during my struggles. Some struggles seem to be on repeat but I find the more I allow You in, the better handle I have. It's when I close myself off to you that I feel the most pain. Help to guide my parenting to have Your ideals in mind and to allow myself to be open to others that are probably having the same self-doubts. Help me to let go of my selfish ways and enjoy this life that You have provided for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I feel like I have been fighting the same struggles for years with no victory won over any. There are days where I can ignore the struggles better but they are still there, begging me to turn my attention to them. It brings me down, forces me to turn away from the things I enjoy instead to try and get a handle on the things that cause me so much worry. The worst thing is in the end, at that particular moment, there isn't a whole lot I can do which increases the worry.
I feel like at times I fail greatly as a mother. After Nora was born, I thought at one point I had post-partum depression then would cast that thought aside because I had no ill-feelings toward our new-born baby. But then I read an article this week that makes me think otherwise and think that I may still be in that stage. Post-partum can also show itself as a feeling of parental failure. Check!
Our older children are in a stage where nothing I suggest or do with them seems to satisfy their needs. Somethings are too boring or others are too hard that they attempt once, fail, and never want to try again making me feel like I don't know what to do with them. They want me to play with them but I find that they actually behave much better if I stay out of the way and let them play on their own. There seems to be less arguing, less consoling. Which really makes me feel great as a mom seeing that they might very well be better off without me. Note the sarcasm.
I understand this is a harsh statement to give to myself. I should see this as a great thing that they don't need me to be hovering over them just to get them to play together. Instead it is seen as a failure that my children don't enjoy my company. I need to realize that there are times I they don't need me and times they do. Story time is a favorite that I know they will turn to me more often than not because they can't read yet. But what happens when they do read? I hope that there will be something else they will come to me for. So instead of getting down about it, why can't I enjoy the time I have now? The constant worry of the unknown and the thought of them growing up scares me when it should bring joy to know that they are functioning children.
I believe it's the selfishness. Feeling that I need to have more involvement. That they don't want ME. That I am failing as a mom when there really is no sign of that. I need to get over it. I am here to guide them, not to hover over them. I am here to help them, not to force them. It's a never ending balance that I really just need to let go of if I hope to get over the guilt and anxiety that comes with raising kids these days. As far as we can tell and others can see, our children are happy children. Yes, they throw tantrums and can be less than helpful but overall, they really are good, kind kids. I need to open my eyes to that.
Dear God, thank you for being there as a rock during my struggles. Some struggles seem to be on repeat but I find the more I allow You in, the better handle I have. It's when I close myself off to you that I feel the most pain. Help to guide my parenting to have Your ideals in mind and to allow myself to be open to others that are probably having the same self-doubts. Help me to let go of my selfish ways and enjoy this life that You have provided for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
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