I need to be honest with myself. I don't know if this blog is taking me where I need to go. I don't know if it's because I've been so inconsistent with it. Or if it's because I feel like people wouldn't care enough about it to make it go anywhere. Both are reasons why it hasn't gotten anywhere because I feel like I'm not allowing it to go anywhere.
That's my problem. I listen too much to the negative (my projected opinions of others, Satan filling my head with doubts), and not enough on the positive - that this is what God is calling me to do. Maybe it's not necessarily the blog, but I know He wants me to write. I know because of the feeling I get when I write, because of how it makes me feel closer to Him, becaues it follows all "rules" when it comes to listening to God's voice and following Him. I get the positive feelings when I write. When I don't write, I get the negative.
A big part of it, too, is that I'm never sure what I should be writing about. Do I write about what I'm struggling with? About my marriage? About parenting? About whatever? I tend to get overwhelmed by too many choices. I would be horrible with a renovation! I worry that if I put too much into one piece, will it be too scatter-brained? I need flow which will come with practice I'm sure.
I need to keep the mantra of "practice makes perfect" and practice this everyday, in some way. Whether it's this blog or whether it's the novel I've been wanting to start. Either way, I need practice and I need to continue to trust in God.
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