Honesty

It's so hard to be honest sometimes. Honest with friends, honest with family, honest with stangers, honest with myself. Why is that? Do I not like the sound of honesty? Does my life or my experiences sound absolutely boring? Yeah, it probably is boring to others. But it's me and I want to be more honest about my life.

Does this mean I have to reveal every single detail? Absolutely not! There is honesty and then there is full disclosure. People don't need to know everything and yet I feel that yes they do. Maybe even more as I try to make ordinary stories more enjoyable for the audience. I need to learn to keep the details to myself and not over-indulge in information, or at least be more picky about my audience.

Obviously, I will tell my close friends more details than I need to tell someone I end up standing in line with. Sometimes I just get caught up in what others are sharing that I think, "Yes! I have an experience like that and it might even top theirs!". Why? What's the point? So they can go to their friends and say, "Hey, I know someone who's even more messed up than me!"? That's not what I want for my life. Unfortunately, I've had a couple experiences where I over-indulged and wanted to take it back so bad but the people I shared with are already holding it against me. In harmless fun, but still, it's out there.

The thing is, I have no reason to get annoyed with them. It's my fault I have no filter at times. But things are out there that need not to be and I'm the one that brought it to light! Ugh. Life.

The point of this entry is to remind myself that I want to be honest with this project. Knowing that it won't always be pretty or always be fun, I need to be honest. That's the only way this can be mine and mine alone.

God, give me the virtue of honesty while being mindful of the details that need or need not be shared. Amen.