BJ and I have been struggling to find a consistent approach to giving Oliver and Brynn more responsibilities. I really want them to understand the value of money and how to live within their means since that is something that BJ and I have both struggled with. Obviously, I don't expect them to fully grasp it now, but I thought if we could at least get them thinking about it now, they will have more questions and we can guide them through it.
I came up with the "post it" system that will hopefully work. I made a chart of six different chores written on post-its that they were able to pick themselves. They will be responsible for those chores the entire week and then switch. They then get a quarter for each chore they complete.
Yesterday, they were very agreeable to this and I'm hoping that they will continue that atitude. My problem is that I am going to expect it to be happy time but in reality I am going to face some resistence. I've already talked to BJ about needing his support in this because if I'm the only one requiring they complete their chores, it's not going to last. Which is what has happened so many other times I tried to enforce any sort of responsibilities on them. He was in agreement and I hope it continues.
Dear God, Allow us to be patient in this teaching moment for the kids. Help us to guide them and not expect perfection initially but expect growth and acceptance of responsibilities from the kids. Help me to remember I do not have to do everything just because I want it just so. Amen
Monday, November 14, 2016
Sunday, October 30, 2016
2016 Election
This is a very emotional time. A time where we, the American people, elect a new president. I have never been very into politics until the 2012 election. That was the first time I voted. I voted for our current president, Barak Obama. I voted for him because I truly thought he could still give us hope and change for the better. I felt his first four years didn't give him adequate time to complete all he wanted to do but unfortunately I now feel like it just gave him more time to harm our country than make it better.
Now there are nine days left until we elect a new leader and I am just now feeling confident in how I plan to vote. Here are my main points when chosing who to vote for:
1. I will not vote for a candidate that will put the lives of our military in danger for their own personal gain. These are fathers/mothers, husbands/wives, sons/daughters and they do not deserve to be puppets for the advantage of others.
2. I will not vote for a candidate that takes away the feel will of the people. This includes the unborn who have their own rights to free will.
I would also like to see a president that is not so hell-bent on being the "cool guy". I get annoyed real quick with presidents that feel being cool is more important than getting shit done.
I want a president that is going to fix what we have and not waste time and money on an entirely new system. We can all see how that worked out with the Affordable Health Care Act that just had to be passed.
I want a president that is going to focus on the middle class, truly. They can say they are going to take it to the 1% but what about monitoring the lower class as well? I feel that the lower classes, those on welfare and medicaid, take way more advantage of the middle class than the rich do.
I want a president that will make us an export country to help build the economy.
I want a president that will be led by the voice of the people and not government control.
These are my criteria. I don't believe there is that perfect candidate available this election year, but based on my top two, I know for sure who I won't be voting for. Another thing to keep in mind for future elections, I feel like the leader in all parties, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Independent, should be able to participate in the debates whether they are below the 13% (or 15%, whatever it is).
I know I don't publicize my blog very much and maybe I will take this opportunity to copy this and send it on to my senator, governor, whoever will listen, to get my voice heard. Then I can patiently await the generic thank you note ;)
Dear God, please lead us to make the right decisions with the upcoming election and to watch over the newly elected president to lead with your will in mind. Help us to accept and be respectful of the president but to remember that we do not have to compromise our own morals. Also help us to remember that the USA is such a small part of this world and that there is so much more to be involved in. Amen
Now there are nine days left until we elect a new leader and I am just now feeling confident in how I plan to vote. Here are my main points when chosing who to vote for:
1. I will not vote for a candidate that will put the lives of our military in danger for their own personal gain. These are fathers/mothers, husbands/wives, sons/daughters and they do not deserve to be puppets for the advantage of others.
2. I will not vote for a candidate that takes away the feel will of the people. This includes the unborn who have their own rights to free will.
I would also like to see a president that is not so hell-bent on being the "cool guy". I get annoyed real quick with presidents that feel being cool is more important than getting shit done.
I want a president that is going to fix what we have and not waste time and money on an entirely new system. We can all see how that worked out with the Affordable Health Care Act that just had to be passed.
I want a president that is going to focus on the middle class, truly. They can say they are going to take it to the 1% but what about monitoring the lower class as well? I feel that the lower classes, those on welfare and medicaid, take way more advantage of the middle class than the rich do.
I want a president that will make us an export country to help build the economy.
I want a president that will be led by the voice of the people and not government control.
These are my criteria. I don't believe there is that perfect candidate available this election year, but based on my top two, I know for sure who I won't be voting for. Another thing to keep in mind for future elections, I feel like the leader in all parties, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Independent, should be able to participate in the debates whether they are below the 13% (or 15%, whatever it is).
I know I don't publicize my blog very much and maybe I will take this opportunity to copy this and send it on to my senator, governor, whoever will listen, to get my voice heard. Then I can patiently await the generic thank you note ;)
Dear God, please lead us to make the right decisions with the upcoming election and to watch over the newly elected president to lead with your will in mind. Help us to accept and be respectful of the president but to remember that we do not have to compromise our own morals. Also help us to remember that the USA is such a small part of this world and that there is so much more to be involved in. Amen
Monday, September 12, 2016
Being a Constant Presence
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever." Hebrews 13:8
In a world that is constantly changing, knowing that Jesus's presence will always remain can be a rock. To know that I always have Him to go to, to talk to, makes me think of how truly gracious He is. I have been wondering about which church denomination would best tie my beliefs with Jesus' teachings, which church keeps Jesus' teachings without being worried about what society will think of them. I'm still at a loss!
I feel like some pastors might have the same views as I do, but the church as a whole is mixed, making it hard to get a good read on the groups belief system. Some are more liberal. Some are on a "pick and choose" basis. Some are not restricted in any way from beliefs to dress code. I just don't see how you can maintain a solid group if not all in the group believe the same thing.
Now there are things that I believe that might not fit into some churches. When looking at the Catholic church, I think there is a different between prevention and termination when it comes to the family. I don't think I would be accepted there very well with that state of mind. In the ELCA Lutheran church, they are getting to be too liberal for my liking. E-free is just out in the open. It's great to be accepting and all, but I feel like the lack of structure, of a solid group thought, makes the church more vulnerable to societal rules.
There are days when I wonder, "Do we really need all the rules?", and there are other days where I think, "Why don't you follow these rules?". For some reason I feel really torn with this decision and yet my husband is so nonchalant about it. He doesn't see why I make such a big deal of things and some days, I don't know either. I just really do not like it when I see churches conforming to what society decides is "normal". I don't think the churches should be bending their beliefs just because society thinks they are being too harsh. Christianity is harsh. From the moment it began, it has been nothing but harsh.
The fact that Jesus is the same now as he has always been, why are churches changing so much? I feel like there is a piece, or many pieces, missing when denominations pick and choose what practices they will be doing and how they will be doing them. In all honesty, the Catholic church should be praised and acknowledged on how they have not turned to society for evolving but how they have kept the same practices and beliefs since the beginning. In most cases. The whole allowing an annulment still puzzles me.
The more I think about my search for a new church, the more I do think of the Catholic church as being the better option. My husband and I have talked about it but just don't know if we want to jump into that quite yet. As most know, the Catholic church is not one you can just try out for a few weeks and see how you like it. It's one that you need to do your research on and be fully committed, otherwise you just don't get the whole experience. Let the search continue....
Dear God, Again, thank you for giving me free will to test my beliefs and to think for myself on what it means to be a follower of Christ. Help guide me to Your home and be free to talk about it with others, especially my family. In Jesus' name, Amen.
In a world that is constantly changing, knowing that Jesus's presence will always remain can be a rock. To know that I always have Him to go to, to talk to, makes me think of how truly gracious He is. I have been wondering about which church denomination would best tie my beliefs with Jesus' teachings, which church keeps Jesus' teachings without being worried about what society will think of them. I'm still at a loss!
I feel like some pastors might have the same views as I do, but the church as a whole is mixed, making it hard to get a good read on the groups belief system. Some are more liberal. Some are on a "pick and choose" basis. Some are not restricted in any way from beliefs to dress code. I just don't see how you can maintain a solid group if not all in the group believe the same thing.
Now there are things that I believe that might not fit into some churches. When looking at the Catholic church, I think there is a different between prevention and termination when it comes to the family. I don't think I would be accepted there very well with that state of mind. In the ELCA Lutheran church, they are getting to be too liberal for my liking. E-free is just out in the open. It's great to be accepting and all, but I feel like the lack of structure, of a solid group thought, makes the church more vulnerable to societal rules.
There are days when I wonder, "Do we really need all the rules?", and there are other days where I think, "Why don't you follow these rules?". For some reason I feel really torn with this decision and yet my husband is so nonchalant about it. He doesn't see why I make such a big deal of things and some days, I don't know either. I just really do not like it when I see churches conforming to what society decides is "normal". I don't think the churches should be bending their beliefs just because society thinks they are being too harsh. Christianity is harsh. From the moment it began, it has been nothing but harsh.
The fact that Jesus is the same now as he has always been, why are churches changing so much? I feel like there is a piece, or many pieces, missing when denominations pick and choose what practices they will be doing and how they will be doing them. In all honesty, the Catholic church should be praised and acknowledged on how they have not turned to society for evolving but how they have kept the same practices and beliefs since the beginning. In most cases. The whole allowing an annulment still puzzles me.
The more I think about my search for a new church, the more I do think of the Catholic church as being the better option. My husband and I have talked about it but just don't know if we want to jump into that quite yet. As most know, the Catholic church is not one you can just try out for a few weeks and see how you like it. It's one that you need to do your research on and be fully committed, otherwise you just don't get the whole experience. Let the search continue....
Dear God, Again, thank you for giving me free will to test my beliefs and to think for myself on what it means to be a follower of Christ. Help guide me to Your home and be free to talk about it with others, especially my family. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Change of A Church
I have been struggling with which Christian denomination is best for our family. My husband and I were both raised ELCA Lutheran but when we moved to Holdrege, we decided to go to an Evangelical Free church because a lot of people we had met guided us there. When we first started going to Trinity, we both really liked it. The pastor was great, the people were inviting but there were little things, really big things to me, that I just didn't agree with.
For example, they do not baptize infants but instead let the individual decide when they feel they have acknowledged Jesus Christ as their savior. They can be ten years old or sixty years old, doesn't matter. It also does not matter to them if they already had been baptized in the past. A friend of mine had a good thought about this practice. He felt like people were using baptism as an external statement about what should be an internal experience of the Holy Spirit coming into you. Which is true. I feel like people use baptism as a "conversation" piece. Of a way to look for the acceptance of others when that's not what it should be. I view confirmation as being that point when you make the conscious decision to follow Christ, which is something Trinity does not do.
Trinity also sees Holy Commuion as a parental decision. When the parent feels the child should receive communion, that's when they can take it. I personally do not agree with that. I understand there is a lot of parental involvement that comes with raising a child to follow Christ but there are some things that I feel someone more "holier" than I needs to bring to light. I also feel that being with peers helps in their understanding of what Holy Communion really stands for.
I am not trying to go on a rant of how Trinity or other E-Free churches perform their services. I am trying to sort out what I expect to gain out of my spiritual life and what I want my children to experience. I do believe that God lead us to Trinity initially because He knew it would force me to question my beliefs and to see what key elements of the church are important that I may have taken for granted as a teenager or young adult. I do enjoy pastor's messages but I feel like I need more and I am just not getting that at Trinity.
Dear God, Thank you for guiding me to question what it means to be a Christian in Your eyes. What it means to really accept Christ and follow his teachings. Help our family to find the church that best represents You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
For example, they do not baptize infants but instead let the individual decide when they feel they have acknowledged Jesus Christ as their savior. They can be ten years old or sixty years old, doesn't matter. It also does not matter to them if they already had been baptized in the past. A friend of mine had a good thought about this practice. He felt like people were using baptism as an external statement about what should be an internal experience of the Holy Spirit coming into you. Which is true. I feel like people use baptism as a "conversation" piece. Of a way to look for the acceptance of others when that's not what it should be. I view confirmation as being that point when you make the conscious decision to follow Christ, which is something Trinity does not do.
Trinity also sees Holy Commuion as a parental decision. When the parent feels the child should receive communion, that's when they can take it. I personally do not agree with that. I understand there is a lot of parental involvement that comes with raising a child to follow Christ but there are some things that I feel someone more "holier" than I needs to bring to light. I also feel that being with peers helps in their understanding of what Holy Communion really stands for.
I am not trying to go on a rant of how Trinity or other E-Free churches perform their services. I am trying to sort out what I expect to gain out of my spiritual life and what I want my children to experience. I do believe that God lead us to Trinity initially because He knew it would force me to question my beliefs and to see what key elements of the church are important that I may have taken for granted as a teenager or young adult. I do enjoy pastor's messages but I feel like I need more and I am just not getting that at Trinity.
Dear God, Thank you for guiding me to question what it means to be a Christian in Your eyes. What it means to really accept Christ and follow his teachings. Help our family to find the church that best represents You. In Jesus' name, Amen.
The Blues vs Depression
Some days I feel worthless. Other days, I feel like I have it all figured out. So when is it just a normal "case of the blues" and when do we utter the forbidden "D-word"?
I feel like I have been fighting the same struggles for years with no victory won over any. There are days where I can ignore the struggles better but they are still there, begging me to turn my attention to them. It brings me down, forces me to turn away from the things I enjoy instead to try and get a handle on the things that cause me so much worry. The worst thing is in the end, at that particular moment, there isn't a whole lot I can do which increases the worry.
I feel like at times I fail greatly as a mother. After Nora was born, I thought at one point I had post-partum depression then would cast that thought aside because I had no ill-feelings toward our new-born baby. But then I read an article this week that makes me think otherwise and think that I may still be in that stage. Post-partum can also show itself as a feeling of parental failure. Check!
Our older children are in a stage where nothing I suggest or do with them seems to satisfy their needs. Somethings are too boring or others are too hard that they attempt once, fail, and never want to try again making me feel like I don't know what to do with them. They want me to play with them but I find that they actually behave much better if I stay out of the way and let them play on their own. There seems to be less arguing, less consoling. Which really makes me feel great as a mom seeing that they might very well be better off without me. Note the sarcasm.
I understand this is a harsh statement to give to myself. I should see this as a great thing that they don't need me to be hovering over them just to get them to play together. Instead it is seen as a failure that my children don't enjoy my company. I need to realize that there are times I they don't need me and times they do. Story time is a favorite that I know they will turn to me more often than not because they can't read yet. But what happens when they do read? I hope that there will be something else they will come to me for. So instead of getting down about it, why can't I enjoy the time I have now? The constant worry of the unknown and the thought of them growing up scares me when it should bring joy to know that they are functioning children.
I believe it's the selfishness. Feeling that I need to have more involvement. That they don't want ME. That I am failing as a mom when there really is no sign of that. I need to get over it. I am here to guide them, not to hover over them. I am here to help them, not to force them. It's a never ending balance that I really just need to let go of if I hope to get over the guilt and anxiety that comes with raising kids these days. As far as we can tell and others can see, our children are happy children. Yes, they throw tantrums and can be less than helpful but overall, they really are good, kind kids. I need to open my eyes to that.
Dear God, thank you for being there as a rock during my struggles. Some struggles seem to be on repeat but I find the more I allow You in, the better handle I have. It's when I close myself off to you that I feel the most pain. Help to guide my parenting to have Your ideals in mind and to allow myself to be open to others that are probably having the same self-doubts. Help me to let go of my selfish ways and enjoy this life that You have provided for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
I feel like I have been fighting the same struggles for years with no victory won over any. There are days where I can ignore the struggles better but they are still there, begging me to turn my attention to them. It brings me down, forces me to turn away from the things I enjoy instead to try and get a handle on the things that cause me so much worry. The worst thing is in the end, at that particular moment, there isn't a whole lot I can do which increases the worry.
I feel like at times I fail greatly as a mother. After Nora was born, I thought at one point I had post-partum depression then would cast that thought aside because I had no ill-feelings toward our new-born baby. But then I read an article this week that makes me think otherwise and think that I may still be in that stage. Post-partum can also show itself as a feeling of parental failure. Check!
Our older children are in a stage where nothing I suggest or do with them seems to satisfy their needs. Somethings are too boring or others are too hard that they attempt once, fail, and never want to try again making me feel like I don't know what to do with them. They want me to play with them but I find that they actually behave much better if I stay out of the way and let them play on their own. There seems to be less arguing, less consoling. Which really makes me feel great as a mom seeing that they might very well be better off without me. Note the sarcasm.
I understand this is a harsh statement to give to myself. I should see this as a great thing that they don't need me to be hovering over them just to get them to play together. Instead it is seen as a failure that my children don't enjoy my company. I need to realize that there are times I they don't need me and times they do. Story time is a favorite that I know they will turn to me more often than not because they can't read yet. But what happens when they do read? I hope that there will be something else they will come to me for. So instead of getting down about it, why can't I enjoy the time I have now? The constant worry of the unknown and the thought of them growing up scares me when it should bring joy to know that they are functioning children.
I believe it's the selfishness. Feeling that I need to have more involvement. That they don't want ME. That I am failing as a mom when there really is no sign of that. I need to get over it. I am here to guide them, not to hover over them. I am here to help them, not to force them. It's a never ending balance that I really just need to let go of if I hope to get over the guilt and anxiety that comes with raising kids these days. As far as we can tell and others can see, our children are happy children. Yes, they throw tantrums and can be less than helpful but overall, they really are good, kind kids. I need to open my eyes to that.
Dear God, thank you for being there as a rock during my struggles. Some struggles seem to be on repeat but I find the more I allow You in, the better handle I have. It's when I close myself off to you that I feel the most pain. Help to guide my parenting to have Your ideals in mind and to allow myself to be open to others that are probably having the same self-doubts. Help me to let go of my selfish ways and enjoy this life that You have provided for us. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
"Ole Yeller"
I'm a yeller. No, I'm not proud of it, it's just the way I am. I've tried to change my ways more than I can count to no avail. Maybe someday I'll figure it out. The trick is to find the triggers, control the emotions. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to control emotions when all you want to do is yell? When everything is coming at you at 100mph and there's no time to sit and sort it all out then what happens? Yelling. That's what happens.
I often wonder where I inherited this trait from. I can't remember my parents really yelling at me but they do admit to losing their cool every now and then. With six girls I can understand why. Is it because I grew up feeling like I had to be a perfectionist and everytime something went wrong my response was always defensive and angry? I would try and come up with an excuse as to why I couldn't get daily routines perfected and when I ran out of excuses, I beat myself down and had a horrible attitude.
I always hoped I wouldn't be a yeller when it came to my kids. Sometimes I yell without even realizing I'm yelling. The worst is the guilt that comes immediately after. I know I could have controlled myself. Quite remarkably, I feel like I have been much better with the yelling lately. But tonight it creeped back up again. And I feel horrible about it. There are times that I feel like the kids are fishing for it. Especially little miss Brynn. As I tell many people, she is our little drama queen. I feel like she can't process anything unless she's crying. Not annoying at all.....
And Oliver. He responds with wild screams and body convulsions when he's being disciplined. I know that this probably wasn't the best way to handle a "time out" situation but I had to try a few different times to actually get to what I felt the discipline should be. First I just told him to go to his room. Which he did but then I realized that he needed a reason for going to his room. He had been wrestling in the living room with his sister and she hit her head. So I went back into the room to tell him he needed to sit in time out and think about how he should be treating others which completely went in one ear and out the other because when I asked him to repeat why he was in time out he fell back on the old faithful "I wasn't listening". So he sat quietly and I went back in a few minutes later after a shorter than usual tantrum was thrown and again said that if he was able to tell me why he had to be in time out I would allow him to go back and play. Surprisingly, he recalled what I had said about playing with others. A good "aha" moment for me and hardly any yelling.
As we proceed throughout the nightly routine, we get the usual Nora throwing her food and cup on the floor, Oliver procrastinating and complaining about having to eat what I made, and Brynn shovelling food in her mouth like she won't ever eat again. Where Brynn procrastinates is in the bathroom when it's time to brush her teeth. She will sit there and stare for what seems like ever and take slow spits after I've started her timer so she doesn't have to brush as long. Frustrating! Then for night time prayers, Oliver and I start together, even after I ask if Brynn is also ready, knowing the whole time she's quiet that as soon as we are done she's going to cry that she didn't get to say her prayers. And this is EXACTLY what happened. In my low patience level for the day, I decide that enough is enough. Even though the last thing I should get angry about is prayer time, it's the fact that she takes joy in manipulating situations. Manipulating might be a strong word for what she does but it's how I see it because she gets to play the damsel in distress card and get attention. I was not going to have it and told her that if she was unable to say her prayers together then she would have to say them by herself which came with a normal crying response.
As I walked out of the room I hear Oliver tell Brynn that he will say their prayers with her. Made my heart melt and I felt so guilty. I could see the future now, they will conspire against me someday and I need to be ready for it! I need to be more attentive, less rushed. More quiet discipline, less yell. It's going to be a long journey...
Dear God, thank you for giving me the realization that I need to continue to better myself as a parent. That even if I screw up in one moment doesn't mean that I can't correct it in the same moment and come out feeling more calm and controlled. Help me to continue to discipline our children with love and not malice. Amen
I often wonder where I inherited this trait from. I can't remember my parents really yelling at me but they do admit to losing their cool every now and then. With six girls I can understand why. Is it because I grew up feeling like I had to be a perfectionist and everytime something went wrong my response was always defensive and angry? I would try and come up with an excuse as to why I couldn't get daily routines perfected and when I ran out of excuses, I beat myself down and had a horrible attitude.
I always hoped I wouldn't be a yeller when it came to my kids. Sometimes I yell without even realizing I'm yelling. The worst is the guilt that comes immediately after. I know I could have controlled myself. Quite remarkably, I feel like I have been much better with the yelling lately. But tonight it creeped back up again. And I feel horrible about it. There are times that I feel like the kids are fishing for it. Especially little miss Brynn. As I tell many people, she is our little drama queen. I feel like she can't process anything unless she's crying. Not annoying at all.....
And Oliver. He responds with wild screams and body convulsions when he's being disciplined. I know that this probably wasn't the best way to handle a "time out" situation but I had to try a few different times to actually get to what I felt the discipline should be. First I just told him to go to his room. Which he did but then I realized that he needed a reason for going to his room. He had been wrestling in the living room with his sister and she hit her head. So I went back into the room to tell him he needed to sit in time out and think about how he should be treating others which completely went in one ear and out the other because when I asked him to repeat why he was in time out he fell back on the old faithful "I wasn't listening". So he sat quietly and I went back in a few minutes later after a shorter than usual tantrum was thrown and again said that if he was able to tell me why he had to be in time out I would allow him to go back and play. Surprisingly, he recalled what I had said about playing with others. A good "aha" moment for me and hardly any yelling.
As we proceed throughout the nightly routine, we get the usual Nora throwing her food and cup on the floor, Oliver procrastinating and complaining about having to eat what I made, and Brynn shovelling food in her mouth like she won't ever eat again. Where Brynn procrastinates is in the bathroom when it's time to brush her teeth. She will sit there and stare for what seems like ever and take slow spits after I've started her timer so she doesn't have to brush as long. Frustrating! Then for night time prayers, Oliver and I start together, even after I ask if Brynn is also ready, knowing the whole time she's quiet that as soon as we are done she's going to cry that she didn't get to say her prayers. And this is EXACTLY what happened. In my low patience level for the day, I decide that enough is enough. Even though the last thing I should get angry about is prayer time, it's the fact that she takes joy in manipulating situations. Manipulating might be a strong word for what she does but it's how I see it because she gets to play the damsel in distress card and get attention. I was not going to have it and told her that if she was unable to say her prayers together then she would have to say them by herself which came with a normal crying response.
As I walked out of the room I hear Oliver tell Brynn that he will say their prayers with her. Made my heart melt and I felt so guilty. I could see the future now, they will conspire against me someday and I need to be ready for it! I need to be more attentive, less rushed. More quiet discipline, less yell. It's going to be a long journey...
Dear God, thank you for giving me the realization that I need to continue to better myself as a parent. That even if I screw up in one moment doesn't mean that I can't correct it in the same moment and come out feeling more calm and controlled. Help me to continue to discipline our children with love and not malice. Amen
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Such a Hypocrite
I am a hypocrite. Shocker. To find someone that isn't a hypocrite in some way would be the real shocker.
As a Christian, I hear "hypocrite" a lot. And I get it. I preach love and can show hate. I preach kindness and begin to gossip. I preach acceptance and show discontent. I say it's not right to judge and I judge on a daily basis. I say often that all a person needs is to love and accept Jesus Christ as their savior, something so simple and black and white, but then add in all these complex grey areas.
I do these things not to be cruel but because the world, society, the flesh gets in the way. Everyday is a battle between good and evil, between God and my flesh. I often wonder how this started. How did I become so wrapped up in what the world thought of me or what my flesh felt I wanted? Thinking back, I don't think there was a pin-pointed time where I automatically switched. Maybe it's because my dad was always comparing himself to others.
My favorite quotes as I've said before "Don't judge others by the outside of their homes" from the Go Forth podcast. Then I heard today, "If you put your struggle into a jar with eight other people, you will ultimately take your struggle out of the jar because their's would seem worse". It's all about perspective and how well you hide your struggles. Is this a good thing, though? We should be expressing our struggles to invite others into our lives and find hope in that.
I feel like I get caught up in seeming like a burden to others and therefore I feel like I constantly need to hold my struggles in and put up a front of everything being perfect. News flash to myself, not everything is perfect all the time. There may be times where I feel like things have fallen into place but there's no guarantee of how long that will last. So why should I judge?
I think that people end up doing cruel things to others because they are unable to control the emotions of having to deal with their own struggles and take it out on others. They exploit others struggles to make theirs seem minimal which ultimately leads to hate and more problems. So begins the vicious cycle of our society. Having that opportunity to say "Well, at least I didn't do that" or "I'm definitely better off than that person" become a goal. That's why I would have moments of being obsessed with "Hoarders" or "Teen Mom" because I felt better about myself by judging the choices of others. Not a very Christian thing to do on a daily basis.
So how do I change this train of thought? Being diligent of thinking how Jesus Christ expects us to act and treat others is a start. To really sit and think of what others could be judging me for causes me to pause and reflect on my actions. I want to turn this on myself and reflect on what I would judge myself on if I was an outsider. What do I want my kids to see me as? How do I want them to see others? To see themselves? How to I begin to be and begin to show others what it truly means to be a follower of Jesus Christ?
Dear God, thank you for helping me push past my fear of being judged when I started this blog. Help me to continue it as a way to become closer to You and to others. Help me to reflect on my past actions to avoid those mistakes in the future. Amen
As a Christian, I hear "hypocrite" a lot. And I get it. I preach love and can show hate. I preach kindness and begin to gossip. I preach acceptance and show discontent. I say it's not right to judge and I judge on a daily basis. I say often that all a person needs is to love and accept Jesus Christ as their savior, something so simple and black and white, but then add in all these complex grey areas.
I do these things not to be cruel but because the world, society, the flesh gets in the way. Everyday is a battle between good and evil, between God and my flesh. I often wonder how this started. How did I become so wrapped up in what the world thought of me or what my flesh felt I wanted? Thinking back, I don't think there was a pin-pointed time where I automatically switched. Maybe it's because my dad was always comparing himself to others.
My favorite quotes as I've said before "Don't judge others by the outside of their homes" from the Go Forth podcast. Then I heard today, "If you put your struggle into a jar with eight other people, you will ultimately take your struggle out of the jar because their's would seem worse". It's all about perspective and how well you hide your struggles. Is this a good thing, though? We should be expressing our struggles to invite others into our lives and find hope in that.
I feel like I get caught up in seeming like a burden to others and therefore I feel like I constantly need to hold my struggles in and put up a front of everything being perfect. News flash to myself, not everything is perfect all the time. There may be times where I feel like things have fallen into place but there's no guarantee of how long that will last. So why should I judge?
I think that people end up doing cruel things to others because they are unable to control the emotions of having to deal with their own struggles and take it out on others. They exploit others struggles to make theirs seem minimal which ultimately leads to hate and more problems. So begins the vicious cycle of our society. Having that opportunity to say "Well, at least I didn't do that" or "I'm definitely better off than that person" become a goal. That's why I would have moments of being obsessed with "Hoarders" or "Teen Mom" because I felt better about myself by judging the choices of others. Not a very Christian thing to do on a daily basis.
So how do I change this train of thought? Being diligent of thinking how Jesus Christ expects us to act and treat others is a start. To really sit and think of what others could be judging me for causes me to pause and reflect on my actions. I want to turn this on myself and reflect on what I would judge myself on if I was an outsider. What do I want my kids to see me as? How do I want them to see others? To see themselves? How to I begin to be and begin to show others what it truly means to be a follower of Jesus Christ?
Dear God, thank you for helping me push past my fear of being judged when I started this blog. Help me to continue it as a way to become closer to You and to others. Help me to reflect on my past actions to avoid those mistakes in the future. Amen
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