Rough Patch on Repeat

Marriage is not easy. Whoever enters into a marriage needs to realize this. It is not perfect. It is not happily ever after. But it is a commitment. A LIFELONG commitment. The ups are great, the downs suck but seem to happen more frequently and are harder to get out of.

The last few days have seemed like a long funk for us. I can't tell you exactly when it happened but everyday has been like walking on egg shells. I don't want to say anything or do anything to make the situation harder and I always fail at that. The kids get under our skin, something in the house breaks, I asked a question about plans he initiated that now I'm supposed to handle. The list goes on and that was just today.

Now, not all this is on him. I make plenty of errors on my part. I get mad at him for the wrong reasons. I break things (like the garbage disposal) and get defensive about it even though I know that if he broke something I would be thinking the exact same thing and getting mad at him. I yell at the kids when he's trying to be better at it, he yells at the kids when I'm trying to be better at it. Nora cries....Oliver whines.....Brynn doesn't listen.....It was a long day at work.....There's a surprise bill that came in the mail. The list goes on and on for extra tensions.

There's no easy fix for these tensions. The only real fix is to talk about them. Together. Try to forgive, try to problem solve, try to remember that we do love each other and want to be a team. Our own selfishness can get in the way of creating that solid team front. There are times I try things not with the intention of being selfish but with the intention of saving him the trouble of worrying about it.

Solutions in marriage are never a one-time deal either. Similar problems come up down the road that you have to have to hard conversations again. The kids go through a rough patch. Careers go through a rough patch. That's another thing I tend to forget as well as BJ. We fix one problem and we expect that problem to never come up again and when it does, we both get frustrated and annoyed forgetting completely how we solved it the last time.

I am no better. I need to remember that. I need to remember that we are a team as husband/wife, as mother/father, in all we do from career to home. That is what makes a marriage strong, makes a marriage last.

Dear God, Thank you for bringing BJ into my life. Help us to work together and not hold a grudge or become defensive towards each other. Amen.