He Still Asks About My Day

I remember when my husband and I were dating and I went over to his house after class to hang out and the first thing he asked me was, "How was your day?". His roommate was in the room and he jokingly scoffed at him and said, "That's all you have to say?". We both laughed it off, somewhat uncomfortably because neither of us really knew how to respond and we were both nervous to actually talk about our day.

I'm not going to lie, at first I was upset. I kept thinking that we should be having these great, in-depth conversations all the time. Solving the world's problems, really digging into each others hopes and dreams. Surely we could make every moment that way, right? Ha!

Fast forward fifteen years later and he still asks me about my day. That hasn't changed. What has changed is my feeling towards such a simple question. I appreciate it. Sure, most of the time I give the generic "It was fine" response because nothing too exciting had happened. Then there are days that I give a little more information, good or bad, and he listens. He tells me his details of the day if needed and I listen.

Listening has been the key. We both have had to mature and learn in the listening department. When I'd be complaining about a particularly hard day or event, he used to feel the need to solve my problem and then we'd both get frustrated because that's not what I was looking for and he didn't know how to solve it in the first place. I expressed to him that I wasn't looking for a solution, I was merely getting issues off my chest and out in the open so that I could process the situation better. He's learned to just listen and be there for me and I've learned to communicate if I need his help or if I am ok working it out on my own.

It might be a generic question and it might be more rhetorical some days, but the day he stops asking how my day was is the day that I will worry. Worry for him that he's being distracted by something else going on. Worry for us that we just don't care to ask anymore. I hope that day never comes because we've had some really great conversations starting with that simple question. We want to be involved in each others' lives and are there for each other no matter how big or small the moment.

As the kids get older and we're catching each other as we're running ragged, I pray we always find the time to ask each other, "How was your day?".